Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thanksgiving with grandma.
The Situation.
I live in San Antonio, which is a predominately Hispanic town. I live with my mom, her mom, and her moms mom, my aunt and her 3 boys, and my uncle. A multi generational house with some serious issues. Usually during this time of year we all try our best to get along and play nice in front of the rest of the family due to the fact that this is my grandmas house where every holiday is hosted here. We don't have a scheduled dinner, we make everythiong, and then leave it out all day for everyone who cares enough to stop by. eache branch of our family stops by for a quick chat and takes up about a quarter of all the food haing not given any to the feast itself.while one family is here, they talk trash about the families who rent hear and everyone laughs and agrees, until they are gone bout 30 minutes later after eating til theyre full. this cycle of people coming and going goes on and on all day
The history
Everyone has their rivalries and favorites. During the holiday of thanksgiving my great grandma likes to be surrounded by family so it was decided that she was always the hosting house for every holiday. A few years back before my Aunt Linda died, and gas prices weren't so high the whole family would be here almost all day, we still wouldn't have a scheduled meal but hey! Everyone was still together and happy. Me and my cousins would play outside as kids and even as we grew up we would play and fight together. That bond has still been strong over the years, in fact, now that we are teenagers we make it a point to visit each other at least once a month. But back to the years before. Those years were the greatest and the happiest. But the holidays were a sad time, one christmas break we lost two lives. My aunt Linda, and my great great grandma, and I almost lost my grandpa (totally different story that i will cover later). Ever since then my family has been a bit more distant. Everyone ventures off to their own branches of family to appreciate the times theyve all spent together before the clock runs out for them. So now my grandmothers house is an empty home full of food, waiting for each family at a time to come over and have dinner.
The Food
The food is normal, just turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, corn, green beans, gravy and whatever people decide to bring if they bring any at all. Its a big feast with everyone around to enjoy.
The Drama
Everyone has their fueds. but we arent like a normal west-side family where we all have blades in our hair and the cops know us all by name. We settle out disputes like bitchy women, sneaky and behind people backs. I don't partake but its interesting to hear how mean people can be when the person they are dissing isnt around and how two faced they become when they finally arrive.
The Awkward
We all know how it goes around holidays, you have to dress in your sunday best for grandma and her poor old heart. Everyone assumes she demands that you dress to impress every crucifix in her house. Since I live here, I'm forever in casual friday when it comes to holidays. I can just walk out with bed head and say "whats up" which makes it awkward for everyone else who's wedgies are very high in because their dresses are too tight and their shoes make them walk funny. The mose akward of all this is usually because we have to be paraded around in those uncomfortable sweaters that were meant for christmas but you decided to wear because it had some form of meaning.
The Good
The good part about all of this is you get to catch up with old family, play video games with your cousins, and joke around about how fat we all are. Amongst the teenagers usually being the happiest ones around this time of the year in my family due to family friendships. This is a time for adults to get over their bullshit arguments and grudges. Usually people settle their differences and get along over some good old turkey and ham. Yay for genuine smiles at the table.
To sum it all up: Thanksgiving can be a stressful time as well as a perfect time to bond with everyone and get over our bullshit while we pig out on delicious foods!
Thank you for reading my blog, Stay cheerful!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
"Are You Gay?"
Getting Passed Coming Out To the Family.
Coming out to your family is the hardest part of being gay. You could stay in the closet forever but the stress can take a toll on your everyday life in the future and the present. But if you do decide that you need to come out to the family, it's all about the buddy system. When you're coming out to the family have someone you know supports you and will be there for you when the storm is passed. They don't have to be with you at the time but if it helps, then by all means do it! Whether its your girlfriend/boyfriend your best friend, a relative, even your pet, you'll go through this easier with a person to tell you that you'll get through this together.
My Experience
I kept in the closet after dating 3 girls in secret. After a failing grade I had my phone taken, but due to the fact that my current girlfriend was thousands of miles away, I didn't want her worrying about why i was gone. I received an emergency phone from a friend which I texted off of behind my moms back. She soon caught me and read through the messages. Needless to say, things blew up she hacked my facebook, and I had to change my password to every little thing. I cried and told her I just wanted to die and when I got home we had an argument that ended in a calm conversation . I had to come out and say that i was gay, I was forced to, and after all had settled i got my phone back and i spent the entire day talking to my girlfriend again, she comforted me and reminded me how much she loved me and that we will get through this. After that it became easier to tell the rest of the family i was gay, though they may not agree with and some shun me for it, i knew that i can continue my happy life out of the closet after such a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My girlfriend and i have been together for 2 years even after that hard time of keeping it all a secret. Its better to be out and less stressed than in the closet and constantly paranoid someone will find out.
Basic Break Down
Coming out to your family is the hardest part of being gay. You could stay in the closet forever but the stress can take a toll on your everyday life in the future and the present. But if you do decide that you need to come out to the family, it's all about the buddy system. When you're coming out to the family have someone you know supports you and will be there for you when the storm is passed. They don't have to be with you at the time but if it helps, then by all means do it! Whether its your girlfriend/boyfriend your best friend, a relative, even your pet, you'll go through this easier with a person to tell you that you'll get through this together.
My Experience
I kept in the closet after dating 3 girls in secret. After a failing grade I had my phone taken, but due to the fact that my current girlfriend was thousands of miles away, I didn't want her worrying about why i was gone. I received an emergency phone from a friend which I texted off of behind my moms back. She soon caught me and read through the messages. Needless to say, things blew up she hacked my facebook, and I had to change my password to every little thing. I cried and told her I just wanted to die and when I got home we had an argument that ended in a calm conversation . I had to come out and say that i was gay, I was forced to, and after all had settled i got my phone back and i spent the entire day talking to my girlfriend again, she comforted me and reminded me how much she loved me and that we will get through this. After that it became easier to tell the rest of the family i was gay, though they may not agree with and some shun me for it, i knew that i can continue my happy life out of the closet after such a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. My girlfriend and i have been together for 2 years even after that hard time of keeping it all a secret. Its better to be out and less stressed than in the closet and constantly paranoid someone will find out.
Basic Break Down
- Use the "buddy system"
- Have support
- Plan for the worst but expect the best
- Be confident
- Know that it takes time to settle in
- Don't make it worse for yourself and get caught
- Say it before you're forced to say it
- Know it's not always a choice to be gay
- Bring reason into the conversation (Don't just yell back and forth with accusations)
- Know You're Not Alone
Many Faces
You aren't alone.
So 15 years of a crazy life have made me into the well rounded person I am. I came out of a background that most people dwell in. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly and survived hate throughout my life. Through intelligence, reasoning, and stupid mistakes I've come far from being just the daughter of a single parent and a drunk dad. Come along with me, and i will take you though my life story as well as tips on how to make your life better no matter what situation you're in. I believe in the brighter side of everything and that you are never alone. Follow me through the never ending journey that is my life.
I am Liz the wolf,
the lesbian,
the gamer,
the gamer,
the only child,
the victim,
the bully,
the player,
the played,
the lover,
the hated,
the beaten,
the liar,
the forgiven,
the student,
the teacher,
the broken,
the fixed,
the cheerful,
the weirdo,
but you can call me Liz :)
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